As thinky as I get about running and life and how the two intertwine for me on this blog, I think it was running the Yonkers Marathon which caused me to take a breath and to clear my head.  Awhile ago I mentioned this strange, subconscious pattern that I've been noticing; with each failed relationship, relationship attempt or cutting of a toxic situation, there's been a marathon and on the other side, another medal, another reward for wading through whatever emotional minefield with limbs intact.  Each one has reminded me to not lose sight of who I am and what I stand for and what my heart and body are capable of doing.  Yonkers was slightly different because it was a celebration rather than a funeral.  Yonkers, although helping me come to terms with yet another toxic situation, helped me realize that running on my own, wild and untamed is not a bad thing and it's my choice.  I choose to run this way until I find that other beast to run with me.  I will not cage myself or get caught up with an animal trainer; which is the exact type of person who I chopped from my life just prior to running Yonkers.  I'm happy being free and it feels good to admit this.  I don't want to be caged because some animals just don't belong behind bars.  By definition, life right now is undefined, and in all of it's misshapen happiness is giving me a strong sense of clarity.